Hey guess what, you guys!? We made up a game! It’s called, “Get A Local Comedian To Interview Another And In Two Weeks Time Get The Latter To Choose Another To Interview, And So On And So Forth Until Someone Gets Bored Or The Whole Thing Disappears Up Its Own Arse Like So Many Attempted Regular Columns.” The interviews can take whatever form the interviewer chooses; a straight up feature, a Q&A, a parent-teacher conference, a hypothetical cooking show, aaannnnd cetera.

Last time we watched on in a sort of bemused horror as Ryan Withers met his future self, in a pool. This week Ryan passes the baton to fellow Sydney comedian Shane Matheson. Shane comes from a background of radio and theatre, has been a Raw Comedy state finalist twice, and has performed at Melbourne International Comedy Festival two years in a row – the last in a spotlight shared with Withers: Shane and Ryan are Shane and Ryan in ‘Shane and Ryan’. Ryan sent him random questions and promptings. How will Shane respond? Read on to find out! Or don’t! It’s totally up to you!

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RYAN WITHERS THROWS RANDOM PROMPTS AT SHANE MATHESON

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RYAN: Mr. President the earth is under attack from Aliens!

SHANE: Is it? Blimey.

RYAN: Excuse me Ms. can I go to the bathroom?

SHANE: I don’t know, can you? Perhaps you mean “may I go to the bathroom”. Yes you may, Fiona, you may.

RYAN: I put it to you that YOU were in fact the man in the pantry!

SHANE: OK OK, it was me, but if I wasn’t there eating stale milk arrowroots, who else would have found the missing Worcestershire sauce? You? Hardly.

RYAN: If it’s money you want Mr. Caddy, name your price…

SHANE: I call my price “Ian”.

RYAN: Directive?

SHANE: Destroy them.

RYAN: Sorry that’s actually my baby.

SHANE: Yes I know. It’s OK, I won’t bite down.

RYAN: Salad or chips?

SHANE: This is a trick question. Salad IS chips. It’s – oh hang on.

RYAN: Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

SHANE: Dunno. Which one was he again? Was he that one that got done for copyright infringement? Oh I know which one you mean, nice bloke. No, I missed that one. Pity.

RYAN: What is your favourite curse word?

SHANE: Cursory

RYAN: What do you think you can bring to this position?

SHANE: Flexibility.

RYAN: If I have no eggs and a man steals my house, how many eggs do I have?

SHANE: One, for your house was built on a DRAGON NEST. Just like in that movie – ‘DRAGON NEST!’

RYAN: Dear Shane, I am hopelessly in love with someone I can’t have, how do I get over this and where did I park my car? Sincerely, desperately lonely and lost in a car park.

SHANE: For both your problems you just need to look the other way.

RYAN: I say I say I say, what’s the capital of Armenia?

SHANE: Jerevan!

RYAN: Does it hurt when you go the bathroom?

SHANE: Yes because the hallway has been booby trapped by Incans.

RYAN: What is your definition of love?

SHANE: I’ve retyped this one eight times so in conclusion, I don’t know.

RYAN: Who died and made you head chef?

SHANE: My father, Head Chef Alphonso IX

RYAN: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

SHANE: That toon with the red eyes and the high pitched voice

RYAN: Is it true you’ve never tried bubblegum?

SHANE: True, never had coffee either, “Get out of town, Shane!” Yes, it’s true.

RYAN: What say you to the charges of impersonating a window cleaner?

SHANE: No pane, no gain! HA HA HA HA HA!

RYAN: What makes you so special?

SHANE: Some sort of prophecy.

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Shane Matheson will be performing at

> February 18-21: Playground Weekender Festival as part of Stand Up Get Down’s nightly comedy showcase

He’ll also be back in a few weeks passing on his own comedic baton, if you will. And we’re pretty sure you will.

Posted by steph in Gatecrashers, Words

Tags: Playground Weekender, Raw Comedy, Ryan Withers, Shane Matheson, stand up get down, The Wall